My Approach

 Grief is generally defined as the way we respond to any unwanted loss. Loss comes in infinite shapes and sizes – large, small, acute, low-grade, and everything in between. Throughout life, this may likely include loss of: people, pets, our physical and mental health, financial security, independence, community. It’s a long list.

My approach to the grief journey is strongly informed by meditation, Aikido (a Japanese martial art based on the principles of developing our center and learning to blend with our experience), and the contributions of somatic and transpersonal psychology.  My work is also naturally shaped by my personal experiences of having been humbled by the loves and losses that have defined my life. Grief is a mysterious and raging river that leads to healing, but demands that we move with it and keep our heads above water as best we can. Learning to swim with it is a life-long spiritual practice. And as it’s been said, we become what we practice.

The landscape of grief is traveled on the path of the heart. As with love, it requires the most essential qualities of our humanity - our trust, courage, presence, patience, and curiosity, among others. Your experience of loss (whatever that may be) and the life-changing voyage that it brings, is as snowflake unique as you are. While the path has been navigated since the beginning of time, no one has walked it in your shoes, with your particular mix of body, mind, and spirit. And while there are scattered trail markers and sign posts along the way, you create your path as you walk it.

Because of the intensity of grief, it is common that our body-mind can feel overloaded by the cascade of thoughts, feelings, and sensations which include fear, anger, fatigue, confusion, hopelessness, depression, and anxiety among others. When the tidal wave of grief opens the basement door, so to speak, everything and anything can emerge. This storm can temporarily leave us groundless and without a sense of center. While this is unspeakably painful, it is crucial to recognize that this response is normal and natural. It is the way our systems – our body-mind - respond in the face of such overwhelming pain. 

Hence, the need for support - the foundation of which is to provide a space of heartful witnessing to navigate this sacred journey. Grief does not want to be fixed, managed, or meddled with. Rather, it needs to be seen, respected, and held tenderly. For it is within this welcoming climate of holding – initially, provided by another – that the human heart can gradually begin to metabolize and make room for the immensity of grief and loss. 

So regardless of what tools or approach the grief process asks for in any given moment – mental, physical, emotional – the primary focus of the work is to create a container in which you can remember and activate your own unique inner resources. As that gradually happens - baby step by baby step - the landscape of your experience begins to expand. You begin to discover just a little more room to befriend your grief. And in that courageous act of turning towards your loss, you help it shapeshift from an obstacle to a transformative ally on your path to healing.